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Danny Kinda’s Inbox: Team Gator

Every so often we see how things are going in Danny Kinda’s world. Mostly he just forwards us his email… Email him a question!

Email 2 of 3,146 —————————————————

Subject: Team Gator

Dear Danny,
This isn’t a question. I just wanted to send you a photo of my team, Glenbrook South High School, performing the gator after a victorious afternoon. Thank you for all your instructional help and stuff.
-Tim Monahan, Glenview, IL

Danny Kinda's Inbox: Team Gator

Here’s a larger version of the image.

Reply —————————————————

Tim,
That photo is decent, but WHAT’S THE DEAL with your sleeves?? Are you the Glenbrook Crossing Guards? And some of your players are slacking off. Allow me to provide a kid-by-kid analysis of The Gator, starting from the front-left.

#1, Chad: Looks happy Gator-ing, but he’s doing more of a sideways-open-handed tomahawk chop. Maybe the ball careened off the wall and he needs the Side-Gator?
#4, Tommy: Less enthusiastic than Chad, but still mildly entertained. 45-degree Gator?
#14, Lawrence: Um, I believe this is the snapped-upper-jaw DEAD Gator. Also known as the Roadkill Gator.
#2, Rocko: Blank stare, not even trying. Why is this kid on the team?!
#3, Chris: What (in the world) is Chris doing?? Looks like he’s asking for a spike off his face.
#6, Tony: Tony’s got chapped fish-lips puckered out (he’s neglected hydration because he’s spent long hours in the gym working on his Gatoring skills) but his technique is fantastic! Wide open jaws/hands, any ball hit in there will be controlled perfectly.
#8, Steven: 90-degree Gatoring. If you show this style of Gator to the old-school guys they will freak out and scorn you for life. All because of a little mistake. Lesson: Do NOT go sideways with the Gator!!
#11, Tharp: Composed, relaxed, poised, balanced. Super.
#??, Iggy: If he weren’t smiling I would think he’s scared of the ball.
#10, Brian: Small jaws, all business. Not the best technique, but he’s more worried about fitting into the photo than anything else.
#12, Owen-bo-Bowen: Laser-red eyes, tilted Gator (again). Not sure if Owen is farting or trying not to laugh (or both).
#13, Frank: Wow. Frank must not Gator very often because this Gator is HUNGRY. Look at that thing about to feast!
#Coach, Tim: It’s Gator Time! Nice form, great enthusiasm.
#7, Larry: He’s happy. Larry Gators while eating dinner. Larry eats dinner with his hands.
#16, Lars: Lars’s Gator is vicious! Look at it! It’s about to chomp down on #11 Tharp’s head! Watch out, Tharp!

So you don’t have to scroll up anymore, here’s the photo again.

Danny Kinda's Inbox: Team Gator

Here’s a larger version of the image.

  • Topic: DK! Inbox
  • By Dan Madden
  • April 1st, 2008

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